Ever since I was a kid, I always thought of leaving home and going to college as a huge leap towards independence, but now that I’ve been here for three years, I’m more codependent than ever. I feel that.
My friends have replaced almost all of the support system I had at home and I’m around them more than I am with my family at home. I live with them, go to class with them, eat with them, go to the store with them. It’s a never-ending cycle of “What do you think?” and “Can I go out with you?”
My life is truly like a dream, always surrounded by the people I love. But I feel like it limits my ability to be comfortable doing my own thing. I like doing things alone, but not if it means my friends will do something else without me.I can I go to the gym alone, but if my friend is going later, why not just wait and go with me? I’m studying at the library, but are my friends playing at home? Your homework can wait.
Anyone who can relate to this probably suffers from a similar exhausting condition: FOMO, or the fear of missing out.
FOMO is a product of anxiety and causes a constant fear of missing out on events and gatherings with friends and other people. All my life, I have been told that college is where all my precious memories are made. The risk of missing out on those memories is what triggers my FOMO.
Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing friends, so I’m not willing to sacrifice my daily routine to spend time alone. But I need time alone and want to get rid of the feelings I get when I’m forced to socialize.
Independence is very important to me, and I’m a better friend after I take an hour or two to reset myself. This is what I am reminding myself in 2024. If you can’t be a good friend to yourself, you can’t be a good friend to others.
It’s about time everyone realized that it’s okay to be alone, especially if your friends aren’t. Independence is one of the greatest skills you can acquire in life, so learn it while you can. Being independent doesn’t mean you can’t have those moments with your friends. That means you can have them when you want to have them.
Everyone was right that college was where all of my favorite memories were made. I made some great friends and made some great memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life. What I eventually realized is that even if I prioritize myself when I need to, those memories will still be made.
So if you too are suffering from FOMO, I promise you, it’s okay to stay home, it’s okay to not be involved in all the plans, it’s okay to be alone, and honestly, give yourself the time you need. Friendships grow stronger when you give. Reset.
Netty Jurriaans is the community engagement editor at The Beacon. Contact her at [email protected].
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