When you take the Trump sneakers out of the shoebox, you’ll see golden tissue paper and a giant TRUMP drawn on the top. It’s just as flashy up close, and in fact, it’s pimple-like when viewed in high resolution. These include oversized red areas and are designed in a confusing way, like the current North Carolina congressional map. It looks like little Midas stumbled into Yeezys.
You lace them up. You expected a different feel right away when you put on your Trump sneakers. Maybe you can hear birds, and what they say will be overwhelmingly positive about Donald Trump. You may even feel a bone spur pop out of your foot.
But so far nothing. You suddenly say, “My family will do a better job running the Republican National Committee than the people currently in charge.” But that’s standard thinking. It’s normal to want a milkshake.
“Let’s commit a felony,” you say to no one in particular. When will these shoes be released?
You ask for a photo of Mar-a-Lago and feel tears welling up when you see it. Nothing looks more beautiful and more worth the money. It also cannot be converted into dollars. It’s like trying to put a price on Jupiter or the Sun. You forget about Tiffany Trump.
You look around at your colleagues. In the past, if you were to describe them, you would say “delicious,” but now it’s the opposite. Was Rudy Giuliani there when you put the shoes on? He’s disfigured and disfigured and says he owes you millions of dollars.
Strangely, the number of people in the room seems to have been cut in half. Is that correct? Count again. No, you’re right. There are your friends, and there are women who are something different, less than human. “Shoes,” you say, pointing at them. Women love shoes!
Before they can answer (were their voices always this annoyed?), you feel someone tug on your sleeve.he very He has a big document full of unpleasant ideas, most of which involve putting immigrants in camps and sending troops to opposing states.
You look at your bank account to see if someone is sending you money. People should send you money just because you are you and the government is trying to persecute you. (The government says the law applies to you in the same way it applies to anyone else, which is the worst possible form of persecution).
“Take it off!” your friend calls you, seemingly from a thousand miles away. Before they start working?
At this time, the phone starts ringing. “You are being indicted,” the caller said. Your net worth, which fluctuates depending on your mood that day, suddenly plummets. Have you ever wondered if perhaps you are confusing net worth with self-worth?
I hear myself saying, “It’s okay, because I’m worth untold millions, or so am I, until you dragged me down like this.”
Accusations begin to pour in one after another. It must be the shoes! You probably don’t remember being charged all the time before shoes.
I try to take off my shoes, but I can’t. No matter how hard you try to push and pull on the shoelaces, they will only get pulled tighter and tighter. I was nervous, nervous, and— pop! The string will fly off.
These turned out to be poorly constructed.
The legs will come out. They are sweaty. you are panting. You look around for your colleagues. You look around for the man with the papers. Check your cell phone for calls. there is nothing.
“Am I going to be prosecuted?” you ask. “Many times for various violations?”
“What?” your friend says. She looks worried. “OK?”
“No,” you say. “Absolutely not.”
But I can’t bring myself to throw away my shoes when I get home. You just have to hide them somewhere. Somewhere safe, somewhere no prying eyes will ever see them, and somewhere they won’t pose any harm to the public.
Beautiful Mar-a-Lago, do you ever wonder if that beautiful bathroom could be found somewhere?
Then you realize it’s too late and you’ve already walked a mile too far.