My boyfriend’s Whoop, a wrist-band fitness tracker, is telling me to go to bed at 7:30 PM. Yes, 7:30 PM! What kind of madness is this?
I tell him that’s not possible because only 5-year-olds go to bed at that time, and I point out that inconsistent bedtimes, well, they impact opportunities for intimacy. He nods in agreement, but I can still see the desire to follow the dictates of his digital dictator because he wants a good “sleep score.”
He’s not alone in his love of “wearables.” I met a guy on a date at a fancy restaurant. After I was pleasantly surprised with a glass of champagne (nice), I saw his two watches. When I asked him why he needed to have more than one watch, he explained that one was to record “data” and the other was to show he had good taste. I wasn’t sure how to feel about this.
I find these devices have a positive impact on relationships in many ways. They keep you healthier, and therefore, a better partner. For example, my boyfriend refrains from drinking too much because after a binge, Whoop flashes a skull and crossbones symbol. This means he is less than 1% “recovered” – in other words, in the death zone.
But there are downsides (beyond toddler bedtime): Whoop tells my boyfriend that the nights I have sleepovers are unsatisfying because it elevates my heart rate and disrupts my sleep. (Whoop tells him that this isn’t taking into account the mental health benefits of the oxytocin produced by cuddling.)
Then, my boyfriend likes to periodically check his stats and discuss it with me (no comments), or, if I’m not there, send me screenshots (again…).
Many stress points come up in midlife relationships – differences in affection, attitudes towards parenting, division of household responsibilities – but what about health?
What about partners who are involved in very time-consuming sports like marathons, triathlons, cycling, etc.? This has been observed to be more common in men and with young children.
I sometimes wonder if taking part in mountain climbs and ocean swims is just an elaborate ploy to avoid toddler bath time, but somehow it’s beyond question because it’s about health. Throw in the element of charity and it becomes practically sacrosanct.
Discover: How I discovered the secret to happiness in midlife at age 49
Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s 8:32pm and I have 9,900 steps to walk before bed.