There’s one reason I spent all summer running laps around Victoria Park and spending every night on a foam roller. That’s friends. Historically, I have hated running. I hated feeling the fatigue in my chest, the pounding in my skull, and the feeling that even the 5km distance would never end.
But then my best friend took part in a half marathon and my housemate and I decided to join her too, so all of a sudden I loved running. She loved the free and natural feel, but most of all she loved being able to do it while spending uninterrupted time with her loved ones. After all, nothing connects her more than the pain in her lower back, the fear of her 10km, and the celebration at the end.
And it wasn’t just my running buddies who made me feel more connected. When I share videos and comments of my runs on Instagram, friends I haven’t talked to in years, and even strangers, comment on the same routes or specific experiences with the sport. They also gave me words of support, like my own personal virtual cheerleaders. I felt welcomed into a secret community I didn’t know about before, or at least didn’t want to see.
This is by no means a unique experience. Strava’s Year In Sport 2023 report found that social connection is the number one reason for exercising with others among the app’s users. And in a country where just under half of adults report feeling lonely sometimes, sometimes, often or all the time, according to the Campaign to End Loneliness, finding healthy solutions like exercise can help. is important.
Exercise as a connection
Research shows that Strava users are on to something. A 2023 review found that group exercise programs were more effective at combating loneliness than other group activities, such as singing clubs. But what exactly are the movements that help us feel more connected?
“In general, exercise improves mental well-being and peace of mind, while also boosting your mood and enjoyment. When you do it with others, you also get support, encouragement, accountability, and a sense of belonging,” says the official sports and says Jodyn Williams, exercise psychologist and founder of Mind Advantage. “And in contrast to other activities, exercise releases endorphins and increases dopamine production, as well as spending time with friends.”
In fact, a 2023 study by Behavioral Brain Research, conducted on mice, found that mice that received eight weeks of swimming training became more sociable and showed increased interest and joy in life. . Researchers believe this may be due in part to the exercised rats also having increased levels of oxytocin, known as the “love hormone,” which may help them bond better with others. I think this is due to the fact that. A similar study found that exercised mice produced more OxyContin and showed more empathy.
Humans have also been shown to produce OxyContin during exercise, so perhaps the feel-good feelings bond us with others who also feel connected. But there may be other psychological reasons why we feel related to movement. Research suggests that walk-and-talk groups, where therapeutic conversations occur while walking outside, improve burnout, mental health, focus, joy at work, self-esteem, and mindfulness. Researchers say how good nature is for promoting mental health, but other experts say moving side by side opens people’s minds more than sitting or staring at each other. claims to be helpful.
This was the case for Lucy*, who suffered a great deal of grief in her late 20s and struggled to open up to people who hadn’t gone through the same thing. “I went to a group exercise class and started talking to the instructor. I found out that she was going through her own version of grief, too, and talking to her was incredibly helpful.” She became my PT and took me to one-on-one boxing classes with me.
“I think it’s always a good experience to find someone who has gone through a similar experience in life, but being able to connect while being physically active helped me connect more deeply. I was able to focus and as a result I didn’t worry or overthink about sharing. Exercising made me feel more vulnerable. You can do things together in the moment. They experience it and connect on an emotional level about their life experiences,” she says.
community influence
Providing inner truths and vulnerability strengthens bonds between people, whether they have moved on or not. And these close relationships can help you weather waning motivation. His 41% of Strava athletes say training with friends or family helps them get out of an exercise rut. The data also shows that a runner is 83% more likely to achieve a personal best when she exercises with two or more people. Alone with more people. “As humans, we have become wired to seek connection, which can have a positive impact on our health. For example, when we exercise with others, we are more likely to exercise for longer. ,” explains Williams.
These bonds also run counter to the classic theory that women have inherited about exercise: that we must exercise not because of others, but in spite of others. This Girl Can survey found that one of the top reasons why women don’t exercise is fear of judgment, with 32% of women worried about what others will think of them while playing sports or fitness. It is suggested that. “Social comparison can play a big role in gymtimidation. We wonder if everyone else in the class is fitter, stronger, or better than us. “We often worry that when we see people who are already familiar with the environment, we may feel unwelcome,” says clinician Victoria Anderson. She is an exercise physiologist and founder of Longevity Health and Fitness.
I don’t know if people are judging you. However, the psychological theory of the spotlight effect suggests that we are more likely to expect to be the center of other people’s attention than we actually are. And, of course, the antidote to worrying about what others think of you at the gym is arming yourself with friends. If you’ve ever taken a friend to a dance class you were too scared to go to, you’ll know this to be true. Participate alone.
However, it’s not just about other people. According to a report from Strava, 84% of active people say that just exercising alone helps them overcome feelings of loneliness. “While research is limited, we understand that exercising alone can help you feel connected to yourself,” says Williams. “Exercising, even when you’re alone, can boost your mood, reduce stress, anxiety, and feelings of self-satisfaction, and boost your self-confidence. Exercising alone gives you time for self-reflection, clears your mind, and improves your mood.” It helps you concentrate,” she says.
Even when I wasn’t running with friends, I felt connected to all the runners I didn’t know, nodding along as I lapped the course. Additionally, there were online commentators. And these days, virtual communities can play just as much of a role in social belonging. Similarly, Maya started working out on the online fitness community Ladies Who Crunch after being told she needed to protect herself during the pandemic.
“It became clear that my lockdown was very different to my friends and family. I ended up spending a significant amount of time inside my apartment with no outdoor space,” she says. Maya received her one-on-one training with LWC founder Nancy Best before joining her group training program.
“I remember seeing notifications pop up on my phone. The engagement and support people were giving each other was so amazing. There was a community of women, most of whom met each other. We’d say hi and encourage each other through our workouts,” and congratulate each other on using heavier weights or completing new challenges.
“It may seem counterintuitive to have a sense of community when you’re physically alone at home, but while I’m sure everyone who has been shielding from coronavirus has experienced loneliness, , the community and connections I’ve gained through LWC have gotten me through some really tough times. It feels like I’m seeing friends a few times a week, and I honestly can’t wait to attend the live workouts. I didn’t,” Maya says.
How to overcome loneliness with exercise
Today, exercise is often part of our identity. There are pros (thinking of yourself as a “healthy” person allows you to move more regularly) and cons (your body and fitness have changed when you subsume your identity and worth in your physical ability). (which can sometimes cause a crisis), but it’s clear that how immersed we feel in our sport helps promote our attendance and health. is. A study published in January found that a sense of belonging to a fitness group was more important for health and satisfaction than the frequency of participation.
Fortunately, that social aspect is now becoming a selling point for many sports and exercise classes. Climbing companies, in particular, are embracing the social aspect, with members opening cafes, co-working spaces and wall nights to foster community. London Climbing Walls is hosting free social events for beginners and partnered with CALM in January to help people overcome isolation in front of a wall. Running clubs like Say Yes Club and Friday Night Lights are also booming, and the big draw is navigating the streets (and then going to the pub) together. The most important thing to reap the benefits is to find an activity or community where you truly feel like you belong.
If you’re worried you can’t keep up with group fitness, or want to focus more on the solitary aspect, Mental Health Mates, a walking group founded by journalist and mental health activist Bryony Gordon, offers walking and designed to promote health. We’re talking to meetups all over the country. Or why not try Run Talk Run, his gentle 5km route where participants are encouraged to talk about how they’re doing.
Or ask your friends if their next meetup might be held. Whether you go for a walk alone, take a class you were too embarrassed to attend alone, or lift weights side by side at the gym, you can soak in the connection you feel by exercising together. And you might want to talk.