For many years I have been trying to find a word to describe this phenomenon. Maybe it’s not even a phenomenon. Perhaps I am influenced by the cynical bubble of a world where individuals are so isolated and such kindness seems indescribable. But it touched me and changed me. And the word it all comes down to may be deceptively simple: grace.
Grace is a difficult concept to define. There are many definitions, one of which is “courteous goodwill.” But that doesn’t encompass what I saw from my boyfriend and father. They weren’t just being nice, they weren’t just tipping their hats. Perhaps my Catholicism is biased, but I prefer the following definition from the Catechism: life. Grace is participation in the life of God. ”
I should have paid more attention in my high school religion class, but I always shied away from words like “divinity” and “son of God” as they were unapproachable theological terms. But as I got older, the world became less literal and I started to like these phrases, which had a rounder, more airy shape. It is accurate to say that my boyfriend and father gave me “free and unwarranted assistance.” But I can’t help but feel like there’s an added element of self-sacrifice, honor, and perhaps a touch of divinity. People are always helping each other. But in moments like the one I had, when, in retrospect, there might have been a quiet but supportive third party in the room with us, there’s something else at work.
J.D. Flynn, editor-in-chief of the Catholic publication The Pillar, has two children with Down syndrome and recently wrote about the blessings he receives in caring for them. “These people are asking me to be thrown into the depths, to go beyond where I want to go, and even beyond where I can go, on my own, with patience, presence, and assistance. I am asking you to go,” Flynn wrote. “Because here’s the problem: deep beyond my own devotion, there is grace.” There I found something like joy. ”
Giving seems to be the path to grace. And I hope that someday I can give to my children, family, and friends what I was given.